Let me tell you a story

Let me tell you a story.

And if you don’t like it, then you can completely forget I told you anything afterwards. That, in itself, is a paradox - because you don’t really control what you forget do you?

Back to the story.

I’ll try not to make it a story about a story, but just a story. You understand what a story about a story is right? Where the story teller takes maybe so much time to detail other things like the weather, clothes, curves on a body and sidewalk adverts that you wonder what all that has got to do with the story. There is quite some importance the story of a story comes with… but I’ll tell you about the story of a story another time.

Now back to the story again.

JD was born without any feelings. Literally. He had the senses, and nerves. Physiologically, he was perfect. But since forever, he had no care, love, hate, loyalty, passion, and all the other feelings you or I would have. JD reasoned his way through life and relationships. And he felt quite happy with himself. He actually couldn’t be happy but he knew he wasn’t sad!

I could explain that further, but I am trying to keep the story about the story at a minimum. Alas, we cannot escape some of it.

Yes, JD. He knew his family, almost loved them but it was more like he didn’t hate them. Same arrangements for a small circle of people outsiders called his friends. He had people he liked (didn’t hate) more than others. He did go out to have fun with them often, when it made logical sense to him to go out and not because the idea of ‘fun’ made him excited. He laughed sometimes too, not because he found the situation or joke funny, but because it was a logical reaction at the time; to laugh.

JD went to University, and his circle of friends increased. And then the ladies too. JD always had female friends and some with activity levels beyond platonic. A few had professed love for him. JD liked (didn’t hate) a few more than the others. But it always became a problem when he wasn't  emotionally available for them. Or when he made a lot of girls cry because he was friends with so many other girls. It was a bit awkward because JD hardly made moves to attract any girls. But by way of logic, he could tell when a girl was attracted to him, and his next action would be the most reasonable thing to do based on the signals.

Awkward.

Very awkward because he could - and did when it was the logical thing to do - relate like a regular guy. He could sound like he cared. He could console a lady, take her out to dinner, get her a nice birthday card. All at the same time for as many ladies as he could without being unreasonable. Without sacrificing his studies or savings.

But when difficult conversations pushed him to the wall, he took the bull by the horns - if it was the logical thing to do.

So he had conversations like this quite often.

“…I’m sorry I couldn’t be that guy. Not sorry… uhm I meant to say I understand how you feel knowing I can’t be that guy…”

He sometimes got a few items thrown at him.

Then one day in his 400level, just after his 21^st birthday, JD fell in love!

Boom! In love. All the way in love!

Way to go JD. Or way not to go?

How could you JD? We expected more from you.

He saw her on a queue at some other faculty and just like that, JD felt his heart rate increase. He was shocked. This could not be explained. 

He stopped staring with his eyes but she was all his brain saw.

He tried to play it cool. Think this through he told himself.

A few minutes later, she and three other girls walked past JD and his colleagues, headed somewhere and in a group conversation. JD had his eyes on her the whole time, which was the most illogical thing he would agree that he had done his whole life.

One of his classmates smiled and waved at the passing ladies.

“Hey Sade”

Sade turned, two other girls in the crew also turned.

“Hi Jo” Sade smiled, waved back and continued moving with the girls.

JD’s muse had turned too. Her eyes had caught JD’s directly. The already fast heart rate doubled. JD stopped breathing for a moment. Then she had turned back to the crew and kept moving.

JD gasped. Air was back in his nostrils. This was a lot for him.

He saw her that night in his dreams. And for a week, she was by him in his head all day.

Logically, he looked up his classmate’s profile on facebook, found Sade as one of his friends alright. And then after scanning 758 followers of Sade, he saw her. Follower 759.

Logically, he checked on her page everyday for another 2 weeks, couldn’t find any angles to get closer. Then he sent a friend request.

Follower 759 was a young beautiful lady from another country. She graduated the week JD sent a friend request, got married to the love of her life 3 weeks after, and moved to a new country where she and her husband started work and built a family. She never accepted JD’s friend request.

To be fair she quit facebook a month after her marriage. At least there was no further activity on her profile. Maybe she preferred whatsapp. Or her and her family moved to China!

I don’t know if she lived a happy and fulfilling married life, but I hope she did.

Now why am I telling you this story?

No matter how special you think you are, no one cares and life should continue. JD, after years of being consistent and special,  got struck by love. 

Big deal. Follower 759 should have left her degree, and her fiancée? Ha! Because true love always wins?

No it doesn't. I'm sorry.

Like I said, you can do anything after this story. Just remember that when you have that moment that takes you breath away, no one promised you that it would work out your way. Maybe it worked out for someone else. The earth won't stop for you.

Stay logical!