“No.”
It was barely audible, a whisper, almost just a thought, but it was loud enough to break glass in her head and puncture holes in her heart. It was the one word she had dreaded to hear, the one word she had hoped he wouldn’t say, and alas, the same word she had said to him about a year ago. She knew before she’d mustered up the courage to talk to him, that karma would sting more than the Spiderman’s catalyst. But she had prayed and hoped against it, the feeling in her heart finally winning the argument, believing that there was no way he could feel any different. Now he was ripping her soul apart. She gasped; the hurt was choking.
He remembered all too well. It had hurt like hell then, and it was still sore now. Geez! She was unbelievable. To imagine that she would bring this up now, had she forgotten what she put him through? Oh! She never had a clue even. After all, she had walked away. His mind was racing, and for some unexplainable reason, his heart was beating faster too. He was getting too uncomfortable.
Outside them, the world was serene. Perfect weather, people strolling about the park, some couples even shamelessly displaying their affection. Every other thing was at peace, even the lizards seemed to have made friends with insects. But there was turmoil in one girl’s heart and a war in a boy’s.
It seemed like forever before words came out.
“I really don’t know what you expect from me, Rose. You gave up on me when I needed you. That almost killed me. I can’t do that again. It’s just…i…i..i’d rather stay away…” he stammered without knowing why.
“I didn’t Jo. You don’t understand.”
“What was there to understand? Tell me? After all the moments we had, I tell you how I feel and you tell me ‘I don’t understand’ and then two weeks later, best couple award goes to you and Ebuka. I’d say there’s too much misunderstanding here and that is because you make things so complicated!”
Bystanders could hardly tell that these two were talking to themselves. No eye contact, almost as if each was preparing to run.
“You mean a lot more to me than Ebuka ever did, believe…”
“You know, I’m fed up with that crap. That’s all lies.”
Rose sighed. She was being pierced. That was a direct hit.
Jonathan continued, “Ebuka has turned out to be some cheat or whatever and you’re trying to find something to fall back on or something…” he stopped. Rather, something stopped him.
She was crying. Very silently, but they burned her cheeks. She didn’t know but they burned him too.
He was determined not to get softened.
“Oh! Come on! I don’t expect that from you, it’s rather cheap considering that all this is your fault.”
She sighed again. More tears. By now, some spectators had begun to stare at them longer than good manners would permit.
This was really getting to Jonathan. He tried to get angry but failed. He tried not to care, but failed. A question reared its head and he quickly parried it. He told himself he had to stand firm. This wasn’t a movie, although for the 3 years they had known each other, Rose had been exactly what the sad love songs were about. No happy endings, but she could make you feel high and low at the same time. The way they had connected last year was indescribable. She had made him feel like he could pause time, walk on water, even shoot the wind. Then she shattered him. He had run, or tried to, but the school wasn’t big enough. He avoided her physically, but she stayed in his thoughts. He heard every news and rumor about her and they fed his pain. He saw her in dreams, nightmares, he could almost swear she was some sorcery lady. He had not got over her, and now she was back. The question reared its head again. He waived it as before. And now she was crying. If he ever had any armor, these tears would definitely corrode them. He was just some doomed victim of Stupid Cupid.
“Rose don’t.” his voice had softened, and he could almost swear his eyes were moistening too. He handed her his handkerchief, thankful that it was very neat.
“You said you love me one time, Jonathan. Is there any of that left?” this time, the question came from his nemesis, the cause of his joy and pain. And she had asked between sobs.
He stayed speechless forever. He had been trying to avoid this. He didn’t want to think about it. He tried to think about irrelevant things; what he’d wear tomorrow, if he preferred Mercedes to BMWs, what he’d like to eat for dinner. It wasn’t working. He tried to look for distractions. Rose stared at him through her dampened eyes, looking for signs that might give him away.
When Jonathan finally faced the truth, as if to punish him for trying too hard to run, it hit him in the gut, with a reaction that was new to him. His right eye moistened a lot more than was normal.
Rose got up, gave him a look that said she saw it too, and walked gently away, maybe so as not to fall. She was still pressing the handkerchief to her face.
